How to Write a Eulogy Speech
Once the transition of death occurs, it may fall on us as the lover, spouse, child, or friend, to compose the Eulogy. The Eulogy is the “sending off” message, the “funeral praise," or the “oral memorial” given in honor of someone who has died. The Eulogy may also be in written form, and can be included in funeral programs and memorial keepsakes. Being asked to undertake this task is a great honor and symbolizes the trust and love the family members have for you, the Eulogist. It can also be a difficult experience to be asked to give an eulogy as you are recalling memories that are personal and deep to your heart. For more details, see our Eulogy Writing Guide.
Also see Eulogy Examples:
Sample Eulogy for Mother
Sample Eulogy for Father
Sample Eulogy for Grandmother
Eulogy Writing Guide (Checklist)
The eulogy itself can be delivered in a varieties of ways:
* Somber to Humorous
* Brief to Lengthy
* Deeply personal to generalized and discrete
It may be helpful to check with the deceased's family to ask what the general "tone" and format of the service will be. You may also give a brief and general overview of what you plan to say in your eulogy to family or clergy.
The Eulogy can contain a chronicle of the deceased life history, shared memories between family and friends, a reflection of the deceased person’s legacies, personal achievements. It may also include details about family, friends, career, and hobbies. Eulogies can also be incorporate into written materials, such as funeral programs and memory scrapbooks.
Just as no two people are exactly the same; neither do any two eulogies perfectly echo one another. Their content and delivery vary widely based on factors such as nationality, culture, religion, values, personality and traits of those involved.
As the Eulogist, you may feel a variety of emotions about the process. The following guidelines may be of assistance in this time of sorrow.
Step 1 - Speak from the heart, speak lovingly, and speak honestly. Be assured that no matter how you may feel about the words you choose, you have done well. To eulogize a loved one is no easy matter, and you undoubtedly will do a fine job.
Step 2 - There is a tendency among the living to automatically confer a near-saintly status on the deceased. While we certainly should not dwell solely on the negative aspects of our loved one’s life, neither should we avoid making mention of any interesting personality quirks or even significant shortcomings of the recently deceased. The funeral and memorial processes are not only rituals designed to send the departed away; they also are a part of the grieving process for the family members and friends. Remembering the full person – the good as well as the not-so-good – allows us to place him or her in that special place we reserve for the Dearly Departed in our hearts and minds.
Step 3 - Consider beginning the process of composing a eulogy before your loved one passes. You will have some idea of what to say when the time finally comes, ideas which may assist you in making the most of your words and energy. In cases of impending death, such as terminal illness, speaking with the person whose death is imminent may truly be a positive act for the both of you. Perhaps he or she has wishes for the memorial process that would otherwise go unheeded.
Step 4 - Do not be afraid to ask for help. This is a difficult time. Going it alone in difficult and sorrowful situations may prove to be far more stressful on your emotional well-being than necessary. Sharing the burden of composing a Eulogy may go a long way to reducing the heavy burden you bear. For more details, see our Eulogy Writing Guide.
Also see Eulogy Examples:
Sample Eulogy for Mother
Sample Eulogy for Father
Sample Eulogy for Grandmother
Eulogy Writing Guide (Checklist)
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